Un-freaking-believable: A rant

"Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young."

- Unknown, but could be anyone...


I am raising a monster, or, if not exactly a monster, at the least a selfish, fire-breathing beastie who seems pretty certain she's at the dead center of the universe. In other words, a fourteen-year-old daughter.

Conversation last night at the dinner table turned to the fact I'm gone a lot lately, since I'm in grad school and also I'm working part-time. I have a lot going on, especially through May when the semester ends. After that I won't have to commute to school. Everything after this semester will be online. But for now, yeah. I am gone an awful lot.

So my daughter tells me I'm ruining her life by having my own life. For a dozen years I was a stay at home mom. I went back to work in late 2005, once the kids were all in school all day. I started grad school last year, knowing it would be rough fitting everything in. The least I expected was a little support from the family. From my daughter I'm getting nothing but grief.

I have to remember she is a teenager, and teenagers consider nothing in the world to be as important as their interests. Like toddlers they're selfish and demanding, only now they have the added benefit of a full vocabulary. An annoyingly full vocabulary. Kind of makes me long for the days she'd just throw herself on the floor screaming. At least then I could put her in her crib and close the door. Now I can't lift her, but if I could I'd gladly try to lock her away SOMEWHERE, ANYWHERE if I could.

The thing is, I don't see how she's gotten this way. By insisting on my own life and career(s) I thought I'd be setting a good example for the kids, showing them life doesn't end when you're a parent. Parents are people, dammit! We have lives, too, and they're just as important to us as theirs are to them. I'm asserting myself, getting back out into the world, finding my niche. And my daughter? All she does is whine about how UNFAIR it all is.

The girl's already in activities like you wouldn't believe. She's in chorus, show choir, regular orchestra, chamber orchestra, fiddle club, dance and she has a part in her school musical. I drive her to school early some mornings, pick her up late some nights, take her to dance, wait for her, take her home... And that's not counting all the extra trips, the other places she needs to be driven. Her complaint? She can't do every single thing she wants to do, partly because I now have a life.

Ah, poor child. That's life.

Sorry, had to vent today. It's a little frustrating sometimes, you know? Grrrrrrrrrr.