A certain slant of light

" There's a certain Slant of light, Winter Afternoons That oppresses, like the Heft of Cathedral Tunes. "

- Emily Dickinson


Dear god, I am so sick of winter. We had more snow last night, less than predicted but still. Snow.

I've never been this impatient for spring. By late winter I'm usually ready for a little warmth but I was ready far earlier than that. In fact, since, oh, around January 2 I've been impatiently waiting for the snow to melt away and the daffodils to start popping up in my garden. Needless to say, that hasn't happened yet.

It's hard to recall a time there wasn't a blanket of snow on the ground. It is better now that it's covered by fresh snowfall, because the look was getting ugly before that. Dirty snow is one of the ugliest looks. Mother Nature so doesn't look good in that. But now, with the fresh powder, it's better. Well, better in a HURRY UP AND MELT ALREADY! way.

Last fall I thought to myself the winter season will be good; I'll be sure to stay inside more and I'll get my homework done. There's not so much temptation to get out and take photos in winter, at least once you've taken a thousand pictures featuring the white theme. But now? The novelty of cold and snow has totally worn off.

Totally.

I'm trying to see a positive to this winter. So far no luck. It's been snow storm after snow storm. While snow days are good things, unexpected bonus days that they are, even that's not really much incentive anymore. I'm getting stir-crazy. I want to get out of the house without having to bundle up in layers upon layers. My new leather coat, the one that's more fashionable than the old one (with the fur trim on the hood, which the dog decided she needed to kill) isn't warm enough. And yeah, that's my own fault, I could wear another layer under it, blah blah blah.

BUT I DON'T WANT TO!

I want warmth, or at least regular sun to melt off the snow and bring out some green already. The snow does really oppress. Or maybe it's the cold outside that keeps us all clinging indoors, wrapped up in blankets. It drags on too long, and seems like it'll never loosen its grip. It's a lot like the Republican party that way.

What I need to do is take a deep breath and just acknowledge no amount of whining and foot stomping are going to make winter end any earlier. I'm looking at probably another couple weeks or more of just this snow that's on the ground now. Maybe a little longer. The potential's still there for more of it, too. And as for cold, I won't see 70 degrees for another month. Or two.

March is an uncertain month. April, too. Cold and rain aren't strangers to them. We can't even plant flowers 'til after mid-May here. That's when the danger of frost is most likely past. But even that's not a guarantee.

But there must be a positive about this, some way to look at it so it's not so dreary, so unbearable. Homework I have aplenty, and other reading, too. I have enough to keep me busy, that's not the issue. It's warmth and budding new life I'm looking for.

Maybe I'll stop by Trader Joe's and pick up a bunch of tulips or two today, after work. Tulips are one of the first heralds of spring. Even if I won't be seeing them in my garden anytime soon I can at least see them in a vase.

I'll do that.

As Anne Lamott said:

"You reap exactly what you sow, that is, you cannot grow tulips from zucchini seeds."

Amen to that.