My Unitarian Journey: Step 1

Yesterday's service kicked off the 8 week program centered around finding one's own Unitarian identity at the church I've been attending for the last few weeks. I've been looking forward to the start of this since I first found out about it, about two weeks before the course of instruction was to begin.

I consider this a fortuitous bit of serendipity, since it came at exactly the right time for me, a time I was beginning to see was a point of catharsis in my life. In fact, it came at such an opportune time, just after I'd begun investigating the church I'd had an interest in for years, I can hardly think it coincidental. What it properly was I don't know, but call me superstitious if I say I was meant to attend this church at this time.

Go ahead! I dare you...

My last point of catharsis came in 2005, which wasn't that long ago. You'd think the Universe would space these out a little more, wouldn't you? I mean, I'd been going on so damn long, stuck in the same life rut, then BAM! Cartharsis one. A mere three years later (slightly less, actually, if you look at the calendar dates, but let's not split hairs) came Catharsis number two. It makes me wonder if I should start getting nervous now about 2011, or if the Universe isn't quite that predictable. Instead, I'm betting it's just fucking with me, hoping I'll get all organized and think I should expect another change in three years, then leave me hanging for another 20 or 30.

It's sneaky that way.

Anyway, the point of yesterday's sermon was that we should begin looking at our life goals, pondering our thoughts on spirituality and our ethics structure. I have a week to consider that before we move onto the next phase. I don't have to have it all decided, but I should at least have a grip on a few things, which is way more than I can honestly say I had coming into this.

So, I have to ask myself, what are my thoughts on spirituality? I'm thinking that all hinges on my belief, or non-belief, in a God, and how I look on all of that sort of God stuff. Do I believe there's a God? I know I don't believe in the idea of the grey-haired sage sitting on a throne up in the clouds somewhere. I also don't believe if I pray to a God he'll let my favorite baseball team win. I had proof of that last season when my White Sox played worse than my son's Little League team. But I digress.

I don't believe in the Christian idea of a God. I don't believe in a personal God who intercedes for us on little everyday things. S/he may tune in, and may even be moved to care about humanity, but God does not have an impact on our daily lives. This I've decided. Nor does S/He expect us to confess every little stupid thing we do, to report in every time we lust after, say, British actors or something. Who'd have the time to listen to all that crap? Sure, it'd be titillating for about the first million years or so, but after that? It would get so damn old: "Yeah, yeah, yeah... So you stole a piece of candy, you called your mom a bitch and you think the neighbor's hot. Now go away and leave me alone. I need to have my beard trimmed."

On the other hand, I can consider there's potentially a power of some sort out there somewhere, whether it's a Creator or not I can't say, but something put the Universe here. After all, how do you answer questions such as what was here before the present Universe, and how did that get here? What happened that allowed us to live, is there other life out there somewhere, and if so how did that get there? Oy. Around this point in the thought process my brain usually explodes, a messy and decidedly unappetizing event.

The simple answer is: I don't know. We'll never know. But could there be a Higher Power? Yes, there could. Can I prove there isn't? No, I can't.

So okay, one item off the list: God? - CHECK!

I don't particularly like calling HER "God," because that's been so over-used, but it's really easier sometimes than coming up with a whole new term. Usually, though, I'll refer to that vague potentially Higher Power as the Universe. By that I don't necessarily mean Saturn, or Uranus (rim shot), but instead the Creative Force behind whatever the hell caused the great expanse of the Universe as we know it to come into existence, and what guides the course of the "future."

Alright. That's out of the way.

Part two: Ethics. A much bigger kettle of fish, in some ways, or at least one with more by-laws and details. I think I'll save that one for later in the week, when I'm better rested and have had more caffeine. For now, figuring out the God thing seems a big enough victory. It's all about pacing.