Today's Seven Bits of Grace

Consider these as bits of grace from the weekend. From my birthday weekend:

1. Two words: jalapeno cheeseburger.

2. Beer.

3. Finding a bookstore with a biography of Leslie Stephen I didn't already own, and didn't know existed, and having that be my birthday present. Hurrah!

4. Getting away for the weekend, sans children!

5. The weather. It kind of, sort of cooperated giving us hours of sun though not a whole lot of warmth. Still, I'll take it.

6. Fudge. To bring home.

7. The realization at least a couple of my moments of grace didn't involve food: priceless.

Lemons & lemonade

Making the best of your life. That's pretty much the gist of it, though sometimes that's easier said than done. Lots and lots on my plate right now, and I'm not really free to discuss it openly because it's first off highly personal, but second and more inhibiting is the fact keeping a lid on things is advisable, since it involves people in my own family. Maybe I will talk more openly about it once it's done, once I've made that ultimate decision and taken steps to do a few things that may help my fractured soul to heal. But for now it's necessary to be more than a little vague. And yeah, I know that's not all that weird for me at the best of times.

Sometimes in life you find you just can't abide the status quo anymore. That's where I'm at. I've been living a life that's condoned bad things a few key people have done to me, letting them think it must all be okay now when it isn't. The impact on me can't be measured, it really can't. It's affected every other part of my life, to the extent it just can't be ignored anymore or I'll risk hurting myself even more.

Doing something about that is going to take some real planning, and most of my energy. Being the person I am, I don't want to let that monopolize all my time but the time I do have will probably find me exhausted from dealing with these BIG ISSUES.

But I don't want to give the impression it's all bad. Lots of positive things are going on here, too, plenty of reading and writing and things of a creative nature. School's going well, everyone in my house is healthy and doing well, and the dog hasn't pooped in the house today. See, not all grim!

I write about that general life stuff on my Bluestalking blog, so I don't want to repeat it here. This blog's dedicated things spiritual, occasionally blurring into things self improvement. Since I haven't been really all that active in either in the past without boring myself too much. So head on over there for a recap of my birthday weekend, etc.

I'll be back here again soon.

From: Faith by Sharon Salzberg

" No matter what is happening, whenever we see the inevitability of change, the ordinary, or even oppressive, facts of our lives can become alive with prospect. "


What do you think?

This is an idea I've run into in several books on spirituality lately. I think it's a fairly uncomfortable idea to a lot of us, especially westerners, the idea our lives aren't really stable. Stability is an illusion.

Change isn't always good, but it is inevitable. Changes can be made the best of, too. While things are in flux it may cause one to despair, because one thing is passing away, making room for another. But that other?

You never know until you give it a try.

What I'm Reading

Faith: Trusting Your Own Deepest Experience

by Sharon Salzberg

Just started this one, so I don't have anything really to say about it yet. It's my latest read in the spirituality/self help genre, leaning more toward spirituality.

Then again, the two are really related, aren't they?

I'll post on it when I've gotten far enough to have something of interest to say. It's gotten really good reviews at Amazon. I anticipate it being an engaging read.

But I'll let you know.

Today's 7 Bits of Grace

I posted, over on my other blog, about what a crap day I'm having so far. I won't bore you by duplicating, but trust me. It's sucked. And it's not even noon.

But despite that, I'm going to find seven bits of grace, DAMMIT!

1. It's cold as hell outside, and so windy I thought my hair would blow off leaving me bald. But at least it's not snowing. Right now.

2. A national publication asked me to submit an essay to them, on spec. SQUEEEEAL!

3. Subway. Roast beef. Pepper Jack cheese. Hot giardinera.

4. Neal Pollack's dude at Anchor wants to know if I want to interview him. I mean Pollack, not the dude. Umm, give me half a second to think about that one. YESSSSSSSSSSS!

5. I can't feel my forehead lines today.

6. It's almost lunch time. (see # 3)

7. I've been feeling like such total crap because I'm behind reading for the blog bookgroup I'm in, but then I found out one of the guys is nearly as much a sloth as I am.

Phew. This one was a squeaker. But I made it.

How do Unitarians celebrate Easter?

" Live your beliefs and you can turn the world around. "

- Henry David Thoreau

We attended Unitarian services this sunny but cold Easter Sunday. Having no idea what to expect, we came away well pleased with the direction the leader of our church chose to take the sermon.

As I always say, expect little. That way you'll be rewarded even more when you do get something.

Unitarians, as you may know, don't have a creed. Neither do they (I would say "we," but my husband hasn't yet claimed them and I'm brand new to the church) espouse any particular beliefs. Rather, they're a sort of catch-all for people who feel disenfranchised by all the other world religions. As my husband describes it, if you were to put everyone from every major religion in a big sieve and shake it, the ones left over would be qualified for Unitarian status.

That's pretty much the truth. The Unitarians welcome everyone, regardless of religion. There are even atheists who subscribe to the church's membership. Why? Well, because Unitarians believe it's right and good to gather together, pool resources and do good things to help people. They believe in supporting and loving one another without benefit of fear instilled by a stern God sitting in judgment over them. They try to live well for the very best reason: because it's the right thing to do.

I can dig that.

The message today was one of renewal, the same as you'd find in the Christian services on Easter day. It's just minus any belief in the resurrection, a core tenent of the Christian faith. Same general message, minus the religious part.

It's spring, time to get out and enjoy life after the long, cold winter. It's the time for rebirth and renewal, a time of beginnings and of relief the days are getting longer and the weather warmer. That's what it's all about, and that's how the Unitarians celebrate Easter. It's the same general spirit as any other religion, when you get down to the heart of it. It's all about promise and hope.

Hope you had a very nice holiday, whatever you celebrate (or don't). Happy spring!

Reading Wayne Dyer

I'm not sure how to feel about Wayne Dyer. On the one hand, he's the dude PBS calls on when they need to raise a lot of money very quickly. He's so popular he's kind of like Dr. Phil. And I don't have a whole lot of respect for Dr. Phil. Why? Because he's too damn popular. Anything popular must be mass market, and I generally like to travel outside of the pack, where the original people are.

Still, I have to tell you, I just finished reading Dyer's Your Erroneous Zones and I sure did highlight a lot of passages in it. An awful lot. I found some good wisdom in it. It's not wisdom nobody's thought of before, or wisdom that sounds completely original. But it is wisdom of a fairly universal nature, as in stuff I can't really argue about. Even things I find myself nodding in agreement to.

Ah, the dilemma of it all.

I started keeping a self help book journal in honor of finishing this book, so I could write down the key points. That's how much I wound up enjoying it. I know, TOTAL NERD.

But here are a few things I found:

"You are the sum total of all your choices."

Duh. But think about it. Really think. You are responsible for yourself. Your screw ups are not someone else's fault. Man, that's empowering and scary, isn't it?

"The issue here is your own ability to choose happiness, or at least not choose unhappiness, at any given moment of your life."

In other words, QUIT WHINING, LOSER!

He never used the "l" word, but I have a strong feeling he really, really wanted to.

That's tough though, isn't it? You have to give up all that satisfying whining crap and just choose to be happy. But it's way more dramatic the other way. Ugh.

"Why should you do everything well? Who's keeping score for you?"

Damn. That's true. I drive myself, and I pretty much knew that. I have a certain set of expectations for me, not that I always meet them. In fact, I hardly ever do. Do I drive myself too hard? Probably. Probably.

"Entertain yourself with a fantasy in which you allow yourself to have anything."

It's one of those "if you can dream it you can realize it" things. And yeah, I guess that's so. Theoretically. But what I'm fantasizing about now is being Oprah's next wunderkind. That leads to untold prosperity, which leads to complete security and a ticket out of the damn suburbs to someplace with more character. Can I do that?

Maybe if Wayne lends me some of his millions.

You get the idea. It's all this sort of motivational stuff, and most of it's pretty good actually. Scary to hear myself say that. I guess this Dyer guy is okay, unlike Dr. Phil who's a complete media whore. Wayne Dyer has a very Zen philosophy, in a tough love way.

I'll read more by Dyer. In fact, I own three or four of his other books already. He's okay, I've decided.